Honesty

Honesty is like a puppy. People train and make it work accordingly. It remains faithful to the master. But it may hurt you and a few others at times. The funny thing is that all of us feign willingness to have it. Let's not blame anyone. Let's agree to keep it as a pet. Nothing wrong! Our relationships depend a lot on this pet of ours and how we use it.

Honesty is a pillar in every relationship. We develop our own sense of it. When we start building a relationship, we calculate how much honesty needs to be invested. Not everyone can calculate well. Those who can, remain happy. Those who can't, sometimes, use more or less than what is necessary. Once again, no outsider can actually tell you how much you need. Of course, there are some golden rules.

The first of the rules is that never believe the other person's claim about how much honesty he/she can take. Almost all of us lie while making such claims. Those who don't lie often end up hurting themselves. A demand for absolute honesty is foolish. Don't ever fall prey to it.

The next important rule is to remember that tolerance or acceptance of honesty keeps fluctuating. So assuming that you can maintain a certain level of honesty in a relationship can backfire. Remaining alert to the highs and lows can help.

The last thing is that discuss honesty with people outside the zone of your relationships to know how it works. Those who have nothing to expect from you can give you a better picture. Pay attention. Such people are helpful.

What is evident is that honesty is not a point to be achieved. It is a dynamic continuum. Learning to move flexibly and intelligently on this continuum can help one build and maintain happy relationships.